relationships
So nobody probably reads this anymore... but i like to write what im thinkging and its hard to do on myspace because there are some things that i dont really care for other people to read... anyways...
So as you probably know, i have a boyfriend and his name is James. I think that my life has gotten so much better and stress free ever since we have started our relationship. I feel like James makes me happy. He encourages me alot and its helping me to just ignore drama. I have started to realize that alot of people start drama because they want that attention. Instead of gossiping to different people about it, i can just talk to James about it and it makes me feel so much better! Our relationship hasnt exactly been easy tho... Alot of people judge us. I am so sick of people not excepting us. Me and James really like each other. We are practically each others halvs. I personally think that when you are in a relationship you should be each others best friend. You should be able to tell each other everything. You should WANT to tell each other everything. But I dont really have anyone to talk to when i want to talk about him. The only person that listens to me is Kimberly. Everyone else just rolls their eyes and think that im to young to be in love. I know alot of people think that you cant possibly fall in love when you are 16 or 17... but i dont think love should be scaled by your age. I think it really depends on your maturaty level. Me and James have talked about love and what it means to us and what it means to God. We had a bible study together one night and looked around the bible to see what God had to say about love. All of the stuff that we found in the bible related to us. I really think that i am in love. I know that i need to guard my heart because i really honestly dont know if I am going to marry James, and i am trying my hardest to guard it. Anyways... now im just babbaling... ok bye

Mood:  chillin'
It is summer!!!!!!!! I am sooooo glad that we are done with school!!! and my grades where pretty good too! yay! so anyways... im going to waterworld tomorrow!!!!! Im so excited! Im going to get a major tan! haha.... im going to see hitch tonight too! YAY! hahaha umm... what else? i dont really have much to say... i havent hung out with anyone for a while.... i have my drivers test on June 6th so then i can actually hang out with people and not be stuck at home! yay! haha.... does anyone know when youth group is now? im really confused.... i cant go to eliches... sad, i know... but thats when my drivers test is!!!!!!!!!! ok... well im going to go be bored...... but i hope everyone is having an awesome summer!!!!!!

Mood:  lazy
Hi everyone!how is everyone? im diong ok... we are selling our camper. it has been out for sale for a long time now and it hasnt sold yet... please pray that it will sell! we really need the money! thanks... anyways! i dont really feel like going to youth group tonight....i havent been in the mood to go lately... i dont know what my problem is... i think i liked rick better... its still a hard change. so i dont think im going to rocky any more.... i really want to but they arent going to accept me... uuhhgg... oh well. Fossil will be fun next year. im really nervouse for the new orchestra teacher!!! what if she really sucks? what if she is totally amazing and then she moves with kinard my sinor year and then we get a crappy teacher.... grr... this makes me angry. and i dont think im going to Australia. i want to but i dont have the money... we have to have like 300 dollars by next week!!!!!!!! ok im done... im gonna go take a nap before youth....

Mood:  happy
HEY!!! how is everyone??? im just dandy! i went to first baptist youth group tonight and it was totally awesome!!! they didnt have a message tonight tho... but we had root beer floats and we snuck into the pastors office and took some of his paint balls and threw them at his car! it was totally awesome! we where all going to go to a movie but i was to tierd... so ya.... i have soooo much energy!!! life is goin great... i think i might be switching to rocky!!!! i love fossil and everything but i think i need to grow... its nothing against anyone but i just need to get out of my bubble... i feel like im stuck. i have the same friends everywhere i go. and thats not a bad thing or anything but its good for people to have more than just one group of freinds... so thats it for today! love you all!!!!


sam

Mood:  lazy
wow... its been a long hard week... i have learned a big lesson this week. God is VERY important in our lives. if it wernt for him, we wouldnt be here. God wants us to talk to him. He is kind of just like you and me. He longs to be talked to. Its no fun to be left out of groups or to be lonely. God doesnt like to be lonely. He wants us to talk to him all the time. Even though he knows everything thats going on in our lives, he still wants us to tell him about it. Its like when your with your best friend and your thinking of good memories. When your thinking of funny things or even sad things that have happened to you, you retell the story even though your best friend already knows it. Treat God like you treat your best friend. Tell him everything with every little detail!!! If you have a best friend, you have probably gotten in a fight with them. When you where in that fight, you probably felt comfortable yelling at them or arguing with them. If your mad at God, tell him! TELL HIM EVERYTHING!!! dont leave him in the dust... God will always listen. When times are hard, talk to him. When everything is great, talk to him! i want to leave you with this quote... good night

"Learn to love God before you learn to love others."

confused
Mood:  blue
Now Playing: the sound of my clock ticking..... its kind of annoying haha
hello! i havent written on here in a while! i have been very confused lately... i really really REALLY like this guy... everyone is all happy for us and stuff and everyone keeps reminding me not to get "obsessed." I have been kind of watching myself lately because i dont want to seem desperate or obsessed... but what exactly is "obsessed"? when does it cross the line? i guess it confuses me because people watch relationships (kyle and tori) and they are always judging. People keep saying "are they going out? They never hold hands or anything! and they havent even kissed!!!" and i think thats awesome... but this is where it confuses me. people say that its gross when people are touchy feely and stuff and then they start making fun of people who arent! sorry.... i got off topic for a sec... haha... but what EXACTLY is obsession? yes i think about this guy alot... does that mean im obsessed? i try hard not to talk about it because i know that people probably dont want to hear it. i dunno... this is a puzzler.... haha.... but i guess i will just keep doing what i am doing. but what if me and this guy start going out and stuff and we dont hold hands alot? are people going to make fun of us? i just dont understand relationships. i wouldnt mind holding hands, but what if he isnt comfortable with that? maybe thats how tori and kyle are. one wants to hold hands but the other is still uncomfortable with it.... uuhhhggg.... i guess all i can do is trust in god and stuff........ c ya later

Mood:  smelly
hey! so im really bored... i have been home, sick alllll week... i would rather go to school than stay home sick!!! sometimes its nice to stay home but it gets boring after 3 days... i hate being sick!!! it really sucks because i cant do anything and if i see any of my friends they think that im either faking it or that im grumpy and mad at the whole world... it was kind of funny last night... everyone kept asking me if i was mad at them... people dont understand that when i get sick, i dont feel like being funny and i dont feel like talking to people and i dont feel like running around and jumping up and down... haha... but thats ok... it doesnt bother me that much but i start to feel bad... its like im PMSing but im really not... hahahaha... wow... anyways... we have our first show tonight and im am SO excited! hopefully i will have more energy tonight than i have had the past week! but the youth is coming!! so anyways..... i watched movies all day and im getting ready to watch oprah, ellen degeneres, and then dr.phil! hahaha... im such a girl! ok well i will talk to you guys later!!!
luv you all!!!!!

Mood:  irritated
what is your deffinition of drama? not like acting drama, but drama drama? people have been dissapointing me latly... i knew there would be drama durring passion play, but not with the people that it involves... why do girls fight over guys? even if they dont like them... its in our blood i guess. but it makes me angry when someone isnt getting the attention they wanted, so they have to come up with some dramatic story that happend to them so that everyone pittys them. i just dont understand. why cant everyone just get along and go with the flow? i just had to sit out tonight. its gotten to the point where i just dont want to talk or socialize with anyone. but then i think about it, and i probably look like i want attention... so im sitting all by myself. and thats not it at all. i just wish that everyone could put there whole heart into this and just do it for God and God only!! I try but every time i try, satan steps in and screws everything up. i am starting to see how satan is pulling all of us away from what we are really there for. just ask your self this real quick if you are in the passion play... why are you in it? if you just answered "For God" is that REALLY why your in it or are you just saying that to convince your self and make you sound like a good person? alot of people are being tricked and i wish that they could see it. im not pointing fingers because i think that someone at one point or another has been pulled into it. some have mannaged to get out, others havent, and others just arent trying to get out. I hope everyone heres where im comming from. and i hope you all understand... sorry if im babaling... i have been struggling with the decision to do a bible study before passion play or before our scene or something about putting our hearts in the play for god. but i think people will totally blow it out of proportion and think that im pointing fingers. what do you guys think???

~sam~

Mood:  special
wow... its been a loooonnnggg time! i hope every one is doing well... we had sadies last night and had SOOO much fun! i hope everyone else did too... but anyways... im kinda upset... tomorrow is youth group and its rezas first time... i hope he is good...i have faith that he is going to be awesome! i know that alot of people arent going to come any more and i understand that everyone is TOTALLY in love with rick... its really hard for all of us to let go but i think its important for people to know that God chose Reza for a reason. I think he is going to do amazing things with the youth group. Some people are worried that he is taking on to much with the youth AND FTS. but i know that God gave him this for a reason! he might have alot going on but i think that all we can do is be happy for him and give him a chance!

Attitude is the key
Mood:  lazy
Everything happens for a reason... things happen that sometimes im not very thrilled about... this past week has been very hard for me cuz i didnt understand what God was doing with my life and with others lives... I prayed sooooo hard and i thought everthing was going great... then everything went wrong! it was all wrong! it didnt go the way I wanted it to go! and i thought God was actually listening to my prayers!!!!!!!! I didnt just pray all week, but i prayed all year! how could things NOT go my way after i prayed for it for a whole year!?!?
Sadly.... thats not how God works... If you pray for something, God will answer your prayers, but it might not be the way that YOU wanted them to be answered.... God has a plan for everything! He is in TOTAL control over everything... he wont mess up! I know that i prayed all year for things to happen, and he is answering that prayer... just not the way i anticipated it! Remember that God created you! You are his work of art and he WONT mess it up! If things dont turn out the way you wanted them to, just remember that God has a reason for it... you may never know that reason until you get to heaven and ask him, and that is ok... Just trust in the Lord and never doubt him!